It is a week before Christmas and I am driving home from my Dr.'s appointment. Sorrow hits me like a wave of nausea. It bubbles up through me, expels itself through sobs and tears and then is over in a matter of minutes. It is really quite strange ... the violence of it all and yet there is a sense of peace when it is over.

If my Mom were here we would be plotting the menu for the holidays. I would be baking and she would be watching me. She would be enjoying the kids as they return home from college. I can almost see her sitting at my kitchen counter trying to keep up with all the comings and goings. No matter what, Christmas will not be the same this or any other year for a very long time.

Some bright spots (aka things to be thankful for):
the tree is gorgeous and it doesn't even have the ornaments on it yet.
my shopping is almost done but not wrapped
my health is good
my many friends are a great comfort
the anticipation of my book is growing
my family both immediate and extended is wonderful
my resolve to get healthy is strong
my job is comfortable and yet stimulating
I know I am getting some books for Christmas
I found a favorite lost earring (see Christmas miracle post)

As I reread the above list, I am humbled to see God's hand in my life. May I focus on Him during this season and not my earthly wants and thoughts.

Caroline

This entry was posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 at 3:05 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.