Last evening I went to Whole Foods to buy my groceries. In the past, a similar trip only yielded turbinado sugar for hot tea and maybe a few muffins or cookies from the baked goods aisle. I never, well, almost never shopped from the regular grocery aisles. People shopping there were different than me. They dressed differently. They sometimes smelled differently. They looked like they were committed to a healthy lifestyle, not just a better tasting morning tea. I looked at them with a bit of wonder, always carefully avoiding eye contact so they wouldn’t guess I was not one of them.

Yesterday I got an actual shopping cart as opposed to my typical little arm basket, and went down every aisle. I milled around in the produce long enough to feel comfortable. The bulk aisle, my usual haunt, produced grains, raw pumpkin seeds and legumes in my cart. Shopping gluten-free is one thing but when you take out dairy and sugars it can feel punishing. So as I mentioned in an earlier post, I am reading every label, scrutinizing every ingredient down to the very last xanthan gum listing.

I have three friends working in the store I visited. Two of them were there last night. I needed that! I felt anxious about going in the first place and seeing their smiling faces and even getting a hug, made me feel at home in a place which previously made me twitch a bit.

Perhaps I sound a bit dramatic about shopping for health food? I think it’s more to do with not knowing what I am doing. Maybe a bit of a control issue? I can put a good traditional meal together with the best of them but in this new world of dairy-free and no wheat, I am still learning. What is “tamarind concentrate?” I bought it last night along with garam masala. Those items never crossed my radar screen before.

Learning new things and making deliberate choices feels good…a bit scary but scary can be good. So what if I don’t smell like patchouli yet or wear cool, organic looking clothing.

And those folks are mostly thin and glowing. I feel fat and faded.

But change is coming.

Pursuing health,
Caroline

Labels: garam masala, poser, Whole Foods

I considered setting my alarm for 6:00. Realized that 6:30 was probably plenty of time. Providentially awoke at 5:00 and barely made it on time to my appointment at 8:30. Today I finished collecting "samples" for my lab work culminating with a blood draw at the Center. For people with normally functioning colons, perhaps the collection process is routine. For me, a calamitous event almost took place. I won't go into details to spare you the yuck-factor!

Now I play the waiting game. About a month from now I will receive my dietary sentence. Sounding negative again? Guilty. I do hope they find some distinct food sensitivities but I have a wish list of which forbidden foods will NOT appear on the no-consume list.

The elimination diet begins today. I fasted until the blood draw but now comes the challenge of what can I eat? I began with a Lara Bar and a cup of tea, no milk or sugar. A fruit smoothie for lunch? Dinner will consist of baked chicken breasts with roasted potatoes, sweet potatoes and carrots. Not so bad. I can do this!

My household is not yet equipped for this new way of eating. My go-to foods in the fridge and pantry, mostly all now proclaimed off limits. Cooking and grocery shopping will require more deliberation. Maybe that's not such a bad thing after all. Being deliberate about reading a label, what goes into my grocery cart and into my stomach probably should have been happening all my life.

Well as they say, today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Anticipating Healing,
Caroline

Labels: deliberation, Elimination Diet, labels

So much for my carefully crafted post ready to go regarding my preparation for Monday's "Launch." As I was saving it and getting ready to copy it over to this site, my computer decided to quit. I have a Mac. I don't often have computer problems. I found this extremely disconcerting.

My whole day today was planned around computer activity. Posting my BLOG. Researching recipes. Planning menus. Yes there are other computers in the house but I wanted MY computer. I had special things bookmarked. I wanted to feel comfortable rummaging around in my own stuff. The glitch was a glitch I did not need given my apprehension of this new way of cooking, eating, living. It was hard for me to get past it, mentally.

So here I am to say. I spent my day wallowing in frustration and I haven't even started the hard stuff yet. This adds another layer of fear of failure if I can't even rise up from a minor setback such as this.

May I blame it on my depleted state which is the whole reason I am embarking on this journey in the first place? Quite possibly. Nevertheless, I press on, or Publish Post, whichever is working at the moment.

Still pursuing health,

Caroline

Labels: computer trouble, depleted, fear

Two in one day. Playing a bit of catch up.

Lets begin with some new terms I learned at my first appointment.

Integrative Medicine: Integrative medicine is the combination of the practices and methods of alternative medicine with conventional medicine. My center specifically combines the traditional benefits of conventional Western Medicine and evidence-based alternative healing therapies like acupuncture.

FSM: Frequency Specific Microcurrent is a new way of treating nerve and muscle pain and many other conditions using specific frequencies and micro amperage current. FSM is different from most other stimulation units. It is sub-sensory (i.e., you cannot feel it) and has profound healing effects.

Elimination Diet: An elimination diet is a method of identifying foods that an individual cannot consume without adverse effects. Adverse effects may be due to food allergy, food intolerance, other physiological mechanisms (such as metabolic or toxins), or a combination of these. Elimination diets typically involve entirely removing a suspected food from the diet for a period of time from two weeks to two months, and waiting to determine whether symptoms resolve during that time period.

Leaky Gut: Leaky gut is a name used to describe intestinal or bowel hyperpermeability. Tight junctions (TJs) represent the major barrier within the pathway between intestinal epithelial cells that line the digestion tract. Disruption of TJs leads to intestinal hyperpermeability (the so-called "leaky gut"), which has been proposed by some researchers to involve a relationship with acute and chronic diseases.

Definitions not mine. Ulcerative Colitis, definitely mine!

Pursuing Healing,
Caroline

Labels: acupuncture, Elimination Diet, Integrative Medicine, Leaky Gut

Yesterday I embarked on a new adventure. Turned over a new leaf? Began the first day of the rest of my life? Call it what you will but I feel like I stuck a stake in the ground and said, "We start now!"

A little history: I suffer from Ulcerative Colitis. It began in 2001 with the diagnosis of Proctitis, a relatively manageable disease, and has since mushroomed into a colon pocked from a nearby bomb detonation. In 2004 I was hospitalized for 5 days. That says something right there. For the past 10 years I have enjoyed extended periods of remission but since Spring of 2010, I have felt like crap. (I feel compelled to use that adjective given my malady)

I love my Gastro Doc. He really listens to me and doesn't mind my tears, which inevitably flow when I am in a colon flare. He is not, however, of a mindset for holistic medicine. His reasons are valid, he is not studied in that field. During my last appointment I told him I was going to explore alternative medicine options. He looked at me with tenderness and said, given how sick I felt, he totally understood my decision. God bless that man.

Yesterday I had my first appointment with a doctor who practices Integrative Medicine.

I believe sharing this story will do me good so welcome aboard if you'd like to follow along. All support is welcome!


Pursuing Healing,
Caroline

Labels: Integrative Medicine, new adventure, Ulcerative Colitis