Cashing in on Friendships
I am learning an important lesson. Friendships, a highly valued commodity in my life require a lot of work. Thats not really the lesson I am learning, I already knew that, really. On a scale of one to ten, I often rank around a nine or so regarding the time and energy I put into them. Huge investment, huge pay-off, right? Generally speaking the answer is yes. But when the answer is no, something unattractive emerges from my character. I feel indignant and used.
Although I would like to point the finger at the seemingly ungrateful friends, the problem lies within myself. I forgot an important tenet from the Bible, unconditional love.
Did I honestly invest in others because I loved them or did I devote myself so that someday I could make my own needed withdraw from the friendship account? I fear it is the latter. The natural give and take in a relationship doesn't always work.At least, not in the timeframe which might seem reasonable. Sometimes the giving exceeds the taking. As long as my boundaries are in check, I should be able to withstand the times where I am lending and not experiencing an equal return. The boundaries refer to keeping myself healthy as opposed to giving till bankrupt. After all, as I said, am I giving out of a pure and loving heart or am I giving because I want something in return?
So, I need to use this filter the next time I am involved in friendship. Do I act out of love and concern or do I have my eye on myself? Granted, we all have needs but I learned along time ago ... keep forgetting it but nevertheless learned it anyway ... only one can truly meet my needs. It was probably by design humans try but fail in sustaining one another. Otherwise why would we need the Creator?
Caroline
p.s the above post, much like the post of 12/02/07 remind me, relationships continue to vex my world. But right behind the glorification of God, I believe they are the main reason for our existence.
Although I would like to point the finger at the seemingly ungrateful friends, the problem lies within myself. I forgot an important tenet from the Bible, unconditional love.
Did I honestly invest in others because I loved them or did I devote myself so that someday I could make my own needed withdraw from the friendship account? I fear it is the latter. The natural give and take in a relationship doesn't always work.At least, not in the timeframe which might seem reasonable. Sometimes the giving exceeds the taking. As long as my boundaries are in check, I should be able to withstand the times where I am lending and not experiencing an equal return. The boundaries refer to keeping myself healthy as opposed to giving till bankrupt. After all, as I said, am I giving out of a pure and loving heart or am I giving because I want something in return?
So, I need to use this filter the next time I am involved in friendship. Do I act out of love and concern or do I have my eye on myself? Granted, we all have needs but I learned along time ago ... keep forgetting it but nevertheless learned it anyway ... only one can truly meet my needs. It was probably by design humans try but fail in sustaining one another. Otherwise why would we need the Creator?
Caroline
p.s the above post, much like the post of 12/02/07 remind me, relationships continue to vex my world. But right behind the glorification of God, I believe they are the main reason for our existence.
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on Friday, February 22, 2008 at 11:17 AM.
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