For the last 6 months, I have shed tears, almost daily, for the loss of my Mom. In the last two days my tears have come from a different place in my heart. I believe it is a fact of life that we are all afraid of change. Even when God admonishes us otherwise, we tend to go into a place of anxiousness whenever there is change afoot.

Last night I was dining with my husband having a fabulous time when inexplicably I found myself weeping. It happened again several hours later as I lay in bed. Even now, the tears are pushing up and ready to spill as I type this entry. When you are comfortable in the role you play in a particular relationship and that relationship goes through a major change, you know that your role must change as well.

These are the things I am certain about: I love my friend. I want the very best for her. I want her daily heartache to go away. I want her life to be filled with abundant bliss to make up for the tragedy she has experienced thus far. I want to be her friend in the good times as I have already been one in the bad times. My friend will not need me in the same way as she has done in the past.

She has said many times that I have saved her life. She has done the same for me. This significant thing, this incredible investment will no longer be the defining characteristic of the relationship. I am not naive to think that with new found happiness comes perfect peace and the complete loss of the need of succor but what if that was the sustaining piece of the friendship?

When it comes to figuring out my new role with my friend, I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time.

Caroline

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 14, 2007 at 12:10 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.