I feel like I have been cheating a lot lately. Little nibbles here, little nibbles there. One day I ate a whole sliver (tiny, but still...) of pumpkin pie. That was pushing three barriers; gluten in the crust, dairy and cinnamon in the pie custard. Yikes, what was I thinking. I am getting bold and reckless and quite frankly a bit tired of it all.

But the question is; am I getting any better and the answer is YES! So why don't I appreciate the healing and hunker down harder to heal even more? Good question!

I think its typical of life. A little comfort creeps in and before I know it, I have fallen off the wagon. Well, thats an exaggeration but I have become lax. My focus was keener when I was most uncomfortable.

Things with sugar in them should taste sickening sweet by now. Haven't you heard people say, "after a while, you won't even want any sweets?" Well today I slid a box of peanut brittle into the purchase pile at Walgreens. My hubby was buying cold medicine and I was seeking a sugar fix. Prior to checkout, I did spend about 10 minutes reading candy bar wrappers looking for milk and such which is why I ended up munching on peanut brittle instead of a Milky Way Bar. Just about everything chocolate has dairy in it (duh!) unless you go super, black-hole-dark but I am not a lover of chocolate which resembles tar.

My cupboard should be bare of junk. I have gluten-free pretzels and some twig things that taste like tree bark with salt on them. I confess I eat Frito's on a regular basis to appease my salt and fat cravings. I thought I would be gnawing on turnips and munching kale at this point in time but instead I still want fries and onion rings.

So what are the real changes? I eat way less sugar than pre-elimination diet. I have a new appreciation/fear for dairy products. I buy all kinds of milk now. Almond, soy, rice and coconut. I can't see that changing. I like them. I read labels. I know what "the gums" are and why they are in lots of GF recipes. I think organic. Don't always buy organic but I consider it. I really do, for the most part, stay away from my forbidden dozen. Change is slow.

But like I said ... I can do better.

Thankful for some healing,

Caroline

Labels: chocolate, gluten-free, organic, soy milk, sugar

This entry was posted on Friday, October 21, 2011 at 8:40 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.