The family dispersed to their homes yesterday, save the Phoenix-bound boy who leaves later this week. I watched the buildup of new babies, painted rooms, elaborate menu planning, extravagant food shopping and careful gift purchasing slowly dissipate as the week wore on, ending in one final sigh ... of contentment when the last car drove away. How blessed I feel to have my children enjoy coming home to each other.

We opened gifts on Wednesday, ate a traditional Christmas dinner on Thursday, dined heartily at a local restaurant on Friday, consumed java and scones at our favorite coffee shop on Saturday, rung in the New Year with a bit of the bubbly and all drove to our hometown to have an extended family celebration on Sunday. Love, love, love all my extended family. Even the grumpy BIL who never seems to like what he gets from the Christmas gift game! I love him, too.

All the Christmas boxes still sit stacked in the family room but they are neater than ever, having been organized by yours truly. They'll hit the attic sometime later this week when there is room to maneuver in the garage. Most of the gifts have found homes on proper shelves or in closets. New books sit mingled with the old, ready for a read some quiet winter day. Now its time for pondering the New Year.

I expect great things. I'd love an even cleaner more organized house. I'd like some financial relief from some property that has been on the market for several years. A few new appliances would be nice as some are on their last leg. New furniture for the Lodge room would be great. I want a healthier body.

But enough of the physical.

Love God, love people seems like a great moral focus for the New Year. I do love God even though I kind of took a break from traditional church for a while. And I love people most of the time but here too, I see room for improvement. How to increase my love for both is something worth spending time trying to figure out. Hmmm ... Love expands when the heart is warm and pliable. This always brings me right back to thankfulness. My go-to act to get closer to God and feel more loving toward others lies in an increase in my level of gratefulness. By acknowledging God as the provider, I diminish self.

So goals for 2012: A big heart, full of love for all beings here on earth and in the heavenlies. And instead of a long list of things I want in the New Year (see two paragraphs above), an even longer list of all the things I feel truly grateful for.

Sounding a bit sappy but sincere,

Caroline


p.s. I got a Kindle for Christmas! Perhaps a no brainer for this bibliophile.

Labels: God, gratefulness, Kindle, love, New year

Today is my birthday. When I was younger, I shared my special day with three other classmates; Jayne, Tom and Rodney. I've lost touch with most of them but now I have a brother-in-law who shares this same birthday. So who cares, you might be thinking. Well ... I don't really like to share anything! I am basically an only child (although I have a very close step brother and sister) and I just don't share well! Want to borrow a book? Ok, but I will write it down that you have it. Need to see one of my DVD's? Fine, but you will likely get a call if its not back in a week. Really, I hold my possessions closely. Too close.

Upon reflection of todays events, I see where many people shared generously with me. Here are a few examples.

I signed up for a ladies bible study which meets every Thursday morning. I have made it to three out of eight of them. My teacher and fellow classmates share abundant grace with me for my missed mornings, sending me texts and messages encouraging me to come back whenever I am able. I cannot see myself extending this kind of grace to others in a similar situation.

Late this morning, after a very rough start, I went for tea with my hubby. We have a favorite shop and a favorite tea. Sometimes we read and sometimes we talk. Today we did some of both. He shares his heart and his life with me in oh so many indulgent ways. I love him for his abandoning love for me.

After lunch I went to visit a friend. It was raining so I snaked up and down the backroads to get to her house. (I have a tiny fear of wet leaves on the roads.) When I knocked on her door she showed surprise, admitting she forgot our appointment but was delighted anyway to see my face. We get together about once a month to pray. Its a sweet, sweet time and rather hard to explain but nonetheless, a treasured gift. She shares some of her deepest longings and fears, entrusting them to me as a young child trusts a parent's grasp in crowded street. What an honor to partake in another's joys and burdens.

Evening has come and all but one of my children have checked in. They lead busy lives but often choose to share their time with me even when I know they would rather be doing something else. For each moment we can spend together, I am truly grateful.

No cake this year... I can't eat it. The above picture is from last year when my wonderful hubby baked my favorite cake and made my favorite icing ... all by himself. This year, instead of a cake, my knitting teacher drove all the way to Whole Foods and practically spent her husband's entire paycheck to buy me gluten-free chocolate cupcakes! How sweet is that!

No pile of gifts save for those I just mentioned above. I'd rather have grace, love, relationships and a wonderful family than anything wrapped in a bow.

Still celebrating,

Caroline

Labels: birthdays, family, love, prayer, sharing