Starting fresh. New resolve. This year will be different. I always feel this way when the calendar turns over. A new me will emerge from the heavy life layers suppressing the true Caroline! I'll have to start wearing a nametag everywhere I go because no one will recognize me.

Up until now, reframing myself has not transpired. I show a minor burst of energy toward change but it fizzles quickly like the snow melting on the warmer asphalt roads of the Midwest winters.

Doing the same thing year after year expecting different results is likened to insanity. I must be a bit crazy then.

2012 will see real transformation. I feel it in my bones. I got a head start last September when I started my alternative/integrative medicine pursuit. It’s hard to explain that while my Ulcerative Colitis (UC) is as bad as it has ever been, in between bathroom stops, I feel great. Some have asked what I attribute this to. Supplements, diet change, acupuncture and prayer, definitely not in that order. The trip to the "new" Dr. was an attempt at avoiding a drug called Remicade (http://www.remicade.com/) and while I still have slight reservations, I no longer am averse to taking this drug. I’ve come to a place of peace with this next step of treatment.

This doesn't mean the new medicine exploration did not work. They never promised to rid me of my UC. They tried unsuccessfully to "turn it off". But I think I went there/am going there for different reasons, some I am not even aware of yet.

Projected transformations:
1. Walk! See this video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo&feature

2. Travel! See Caroline go … without all the pit stops!

3. Knitting socks! It's intimidating but I'm going to do it!

4. Eat well. Remember, I do know my way around the Whole Food stores now!

5. A steadier dose of God things. You should see the books on my nightstand and Kindle!

I have to go now,
Caroline

Labels: change, knitting, Remicade, walk

I need to shout a bit about today. I went to bed last night at 1:00 a.m. Could not fall asleep till after 2:00. Awoke at 3:30 and then again at 6:00 a.m., never really falling back to sleep after that and eventually arising around 7:00 a.m. Sounds like a rough start but really I had the most enjoyable day.

Our whole household has been sick with a 24 hour stomach bug so I decided to do something nice for my daughter and get her caught up on her laundry. This took all morning! I think she uses three towels every time she showers. Earlier, I had found a great gluten-free muffin recipe online so I enjoyed a cup of tea with a baked good that would have fooled most chefs!

Dr.'s appointment went well. She is always such an encourager, even after I confessed consuming gluten products on the day after my stomach purging. Chicken noodle soup, crackers and toast are just the go-to things one wants after being sick. Can't help it. And since I am not a true gluten intolerant, eating those few things did not make me feel any worse, thank goodness.

On to my favorite store, Half Price Books, where I sold $15 worth of unwanted dust collectors. I snagged a knitting book, a cookbook by a favorite author, a gluten/dairy/wheat free cookbook and a copy of my favorite book on the planet... "A Wrinkle In Time." Jackpot, baby!

ATM stop where I noticed I still had some money left in my work account even tho I lost my job 5 months ago. Grocery shopping at a newly remodeled Kroger's. Coffee to go from my favorite coffee shop, CP.

Home to cook scallops, baked potatoes and broccoli. Later in the evening we dropped by a friend's house to do some long overdue catching up.

Oh, and I am in the middle of a knitting project which requires a stitch, new to most of my knitting classmates. I practiced it on different needles and am happy to say I am almost the proud wearer of a new vest! My knitting teacher will be so proud. At least I hope so!

It's midnight now so I don't want to push my luck for any more good things to happen. I know I left out a few but I am happy to report, God is good. He is always good.

Smiling (and its been awhile),

Caroline

Labels: bookstores, gluten-free, knitting, muffins