Saying goodbye to an old friend
Friendships come and go but when one seems to die on the vine, it is particularly sad and disappointing. I know the rules about reconciling and difficult confrontations but sometimes the rules don't seem to apply. My relationship with a friend that has lasted over a decade has run amuck. For whatever reason, she is upset with me and refuses to tell me why. LIke I said, I know the rules and I, in most cases, would go to her and say "what's up" but this situation is different. I believe the onnus is on her. She seems unwilling to let me know what is bothering her and based on past experience, I believe she is full of anger and untrue accusations that will spew out at me if I am the one to approach her. I am feeling that I need to wait until she is ready for the conversation rather than prematurely opening the wound.
I have asked myself what if she never wants to clear the air and get back on track? I honestly do not know the answer. In many ways, this friendship has been fraught with difficulties. That doesn't mean it is unworthy of saving, it just means that maybe this is the natural break that should have come about a while ago. I have always prided myself on my ability to be a good friend. As an only child, I worked hard at my friendships because at the end of the day, I went home to a quiet house with only parents to fill the loneliness. My friends all had siblings and they could afford lots of fights and misunderstandings because living together in a family meant you would eventually work them out. At least when you were a child, that is what it meant.
In the days to come, I will be watchful to see if there is a crack in the icy front that presents itself to me when I am around my friend. In public settings she smiles and appears polite but when you know a person well, you know when there is tension or an unsettledness between the two of you. My responsibility is to remain open to what God would have me do in this situation. I don't want to be closed to His will even if it might involve pain and more tears.
Caroline
I have asked myself what if she never wants to clear the air and get back on track? I honestly do not know the answer. In many ways, this friendship has been fraught with difficulties. That doesn't mean it is unworthy of saving, it just means that maybe this is the natural break that should have come about a while ago. I have always prided myself on my ability to be a good friend. As an only child, I worked hard at my friendships because at the end of the day, I went home to a quiet house with only parents to fill the loneliness. My friends all had siblings and they could afford lots of fights and misunderstandings because living together in a family meant you would eventually work them out. At least when you were a child, that is what it meant.
In the days to come, I will be watchful to see if there is a crack in the icy front that presents itself to me when I am around my friend. In public settings she smiles and appears polite but when you know a person well, you know when there is tension or an unsettledness between the two of you. My responsibility is to remain open to what God would have me do in this situation. I don't want to be closed to His will even if it might involve pain and more tears.
Caroline
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on Monday, March 05, 2007 at 6:13 AM.
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