Doing her job
I just found out my daughter, after leaving her treatment center, can have no direct contact with her therapist for 7 years. Took me aback at first but after pondering this, it makes perfect sense. She (the therapist) needs to be free to concentrate on all her new assignments and if she had "remnants" of all the past nagging at her time, she would likely become bogged down and unable to give full attention to the ones she is actually being paid to help. I picture her with post-it notes stuck all over her. Several dealing with her current clients is understandable; conference call with Sue and folks at 2:00, hike with Barb at 4:00, group session with Nancy at 1:00, etc. But add in all the past gals and stuff starts flying off and getting lost in the crush of time and emotional expenditures.
Keri (from 3 years ago) is now dating a loser, Megan (2007) dropped out of school, Rebecca (2008) got married, and on and on. There is the ability to compartmentalize and then there is overload. Even if she could respond to letters written from old clients (this is allowed) surely she would disappoint them in her responses. She would need some kind of spreadsheet to keep track of everyone.
Yes this is a good plan to protect her AND my daughter.
I am curious as to how many letters she does receive from past clients. I wonder are there any tugs on the heartstrings when she reads them. What if she ever runs into them in real life settings. Does she have to look away and hope their eyes don't meet or can she smile and give a hug and do a little small talk?
To become so totally immersed in another's life for two months and then to have to walk away seems somewhat akin to breaking up a love relationship. You learn all their secrets and with those secrets comes a bit of power and and intensified attachment. But you know the rift is coming and you can't really afford to disassociate as the ending draws near. You need to stay engaged right up until the last hug good bye.
I am thankful she is free to fully engage with my daughter. There is real work going on there and I am encouraged. God bless her for working in a job where her heart may get broken a tiny bit every time a client packs her suitcase to go home.
She is investing in something which will last forever ... people. If you've got the guts for it, always a good choice.
Caroline
Keri (from 3 years ago) is now dating a loser, Megan (2007) dropped out of school, Rebecca (2008) got married, and on and on. There is the ability to compartmentalize and then there is overload. Even if she could respond to letters written from old clients (this is allowed) surely she would disappoint them in her responses. She would need some kind of spreadsheet to keep track of everyone.
Yes this is a good plan to protect her AND my daughter.
I am curious as to how many letters she does receive from past clients. I wonder are there any tugs on the heartstrings when she reads them. What if she ever runs into them in real life settings. Does she have to look away and hope their eyes don't meet or can she smile and give a hug and do a little small talk?
To become so totally immersed in another's life for two months and then to have to walk away seems somewhat akin to breaking up a love relationship. You learn all their secrets and with those secrets comes a bit of power and and intensified attachment. But you know the rift is coming and you can't really afford to disassociate as the ending draws near. You need to stay engaged right up until the last hug good bye.
I am thankful she is free to fully engage with my daughter. There is real work going on there and I am encouraged. God bless her for working in a job where her heart may get broken a tiny bit every time a client packs her suitcase to go home.
She is investing in something which will last forever ... people. If you've got the guts for it, always a good choice.
Caroline
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on Sunday, September 20, 2009 at 6:23 AM.
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